Baby's best friend

Today I had a play date with a friend of mine and her daughter who is 9 months old. It was a joy to see them interact with each other. You can't really say that they are playing at that age because they are just sitting next to each other stealing each other's toys. However, they seem to have a lot of fun doing it. Mia and Emma are only 4 weeks apart, but they are so different. Seeing Emma play with her friend made me think about how it was when I first joined my playgroup here in the Bay Area. Emma was the biggest baby there, but she was behind on a lot of things like crawling, sitting up right, standing up, etc. Most of the babies in that group were doing a lot of stuff that Emma was no way near of doing. This prompted me to visit her doctor to make sure that Emma was doing OK developmentally.

Emma's doctor must have thought I was nuts, but she patiently listened to my concerns and explained that babies develop at different rates and that is perfectly normal. Of course I knew this already, and I am sure she must get tons of these visits every week. It got me wondering, though, if I am doomed to a life of worries. Am I a normal mom with normal every day worries, or am I being overprotective?

I think it is perfectly normal to worry about your baby and wanting to make sure she or he is doing well. And I also think it is perfectly normal to compare your baby to other babies because you need some kind of ongoing reassurance that she or he in deed are OK. I also think it can get a little tricky if your baby is being compared to every single baby out there because, let's face it, babies are different. And they in deed develop very differently. It wasn't until I stopped comparing Emma to all her friends that I truly started enjoying all her progresses.

Before I wanted her to start crawling faster and sit up faster by herself because "all the other kids can." When I finally let go of the need to compare her to everyone else, I interestingly enough started enjoying her steps as well as her missteps more. Emma is her own person. She shows me that every day. And the more I think about it the more I am convinced. Emma is her own person with her own unique abilities and strengths. She learns things in her own way at her own speed, and I need to celebrate her uniqueness instead of worrying so much. She will be fine, and today showed me that. I guess in the end a healthy dose of worry is in order, but don't forget to throw in a lot of fun and laughter in the mix as well.