Christmas and the store

Christmas is getting closer. I can feel it. And it makes me so happy I can't even express it. Sometimes I go to the mall and walk around for hours just to look at the Christmas decorations. The Christmas trees, the fake presents, Santa's toy store, all the Christmas cookies and drinks at Starbucks...I mean, what says Christmas more than that?

And as I'm strolling the isles in the toy stores, I am actually surprised by how much stuff is out there. Every single toy on the shelf is calling my name making me feel like a bad mother for not immediately buying them for Emma. And they have a very clever way of advertising their stuff too. They point out all the potential positive benefits of having them, and of course, as a parent, you agree. You want your children to do well in life and be happy. And I don't know about you, but I grew up with the idea of more is better. I never really had a lot of toys when I was a child. Or at least, that's how I felt back then. My friends always had more toys then I did, and I felt like I was deprived or less fortunate. Today I know of course that I had plenty of toys and things, and that I was too spoiled to recognize that I was actually very fortunate. Still, somehow a little residue of that feeling of not having enough as a child is still inside of me. And that feeling is what makes me raid the toy store every chance I get to make sure that Emma always has toys and stuff around her to make her feel happy. I want her to know that she is loved.

And believe me. I know how it sounds. Toys and things won't make a difference in the end and she will know that I love her no matter what. I still wants what is best for her, and since I buy into this whole idea around the holidays that she really needs more toys to be smart, successful, and happy, guess what's going to happen? Yep. More toys. Actually, Christmas is all about giving for me. I love to see everyone's faces when they open their presents. I love that feeling. I can just live on that high for months. I can't wait for Emma to be old enough to appreciate gifts and believe in Santa. I will do the whole cookie and milk thing and having Santa over on Christmas eve. It will just be fantastic. I am pretty sure she will be freaked out by Santa this year, but who isn't at that age? That's part of Christmas too. She will learn to love him like all other kids do.

I actually wish I had my store now. How cool would it be to buy a bunch of stuff for the store and start making well-deserved kids even happier? I can't wait. Also, I will naturally only get stuff that I like myself and that Emma plays with, of course. She will be my guinea pig in a way. I actually think that is the best way of going about this. You need to have someone try it out, and if they like it you have a good thing. I don't want to fall into the trap of getting something that I think look pretty or that I like. It has to pass the test of Emma. She is hilarious. She really is a good tester for these kinds of things. I know within minutes of she likes a toy or certain clothes. And that's good. It's guidance and I'll take it. I have done some more research now, and I even have my logo done. It's beautiful and I love it. It's exactly what I wanted. Next step is to do my business cards and start saving to buy the products.

I am actually looking for non-profit organizations and other companies that are interested in helping out a minority who is starting a new business. If any of you know a good place to apply for business grants, please let me know. Any help will be much appreciated. The sooner I start my dream the better...:0). Choosing a good hosting company is also a task and a hard one at that. I want to go with someone that is reliable and offers good support as well as has reasonable prices. I have been advised godaddy.com and joker.com. I need one that offers a shopping cart as my store will be entirely online.

Well, that's pretty much what has been occupying my time the last week or so. Christmas and the store :0). I have had other wonderful, beautiful, and absolutely amazing things happen, but I will leave that for another time and another post. In general, I am absolutely in love with my life and my family. I wake up every day feeling tired and slow to start the day. But the minute I walk into Emma's room and look at her smiling face I melt. There just isn't anything that can ever top that. And that's actually what makes me want to go to bed at night too. That feeling of being totally in love and know that someone loves me too...whole-heartedly and unconditionally.